Marc's practice notes

[marc]

February 7, 2013 at 4:10 pm

Last week I finally finished my master’s degree, and in the weeks before that my practice was a bit less consistent than before. After finishing all of my school stuff, I didn’t really feel like sitting lots of hours, but since last monday I’ve been meditating pretty much (monday 3 hours, tuesday and wednesday each 3 hours and 25 minutes, and today 2 hours and 15 minutes). In all of these sits I clearly went up to equanimity, but in just a few it seemed to go deeper. I noticed a lot of evaluation thoughts and doubts about my practice, which in some sits got a bit in the way, because I didn’t really succeed in disembedding from these thought. On tueasday, wednesday and today I managed to include all these thoughts in my attention, and just note them like everything else. I one sit at a certain point my attention started to widen, and the vibrations got very subtle and clear. At the same time there was also a lot of anticipation and excitement (that’s pretty familiar!), and it faded away again.

I’m really trying to just let it ripen. There are moments where I have faith in this process to unfold on itself, but more often I’m very doubtful, and wondering why it’s not going faster and what I should be doing differently.

[marc]

Aquanin
February 7, 2013 at 4:21 pm

Congrats on your Master’s Degree! That’s quite an accomplishment!

[marc]

February 8, 2013 at 5:14 am

Thanks Russell! Now I’m going for my stream entry degree

[marc]

Alan Smithee
February 8, 2013 at 6:00 am

Yes, congrats on the MA. What is the subject, if I may ask?

I also relatively recently finished my MA in English. After 12 years of school, I finally have time on my hands, and, like you, decided to utilize that time to go for 1st Path. I started a regular twice daily practice in December and have also been getting EQ on a fairly consistent basis.

Regarding doubt: It is my understanding that a fair number of folks spend a goodly amount of time in EQ territory. It is far less common for people to blast through it. The way I see it regarding my own practice, this is the opportunity to really become a proficient practitioner, and earn my stripes, so to speak.

I’d recommend reading through a survey I posted over at the Dharma Overground. It gives a nice sense of what it took people to get stream. On average, most people seemed to practice about two hours a day. Many got stream while at home, but a handful needed a retreat. I’d say that over six months of fairly hardcore, regular, daily practice is typical. Some folks took four months, some a year and a half. Most seem to average around six, or so.

Also, from time to time I think of Jane’s advice: “To remember that this practice really does work. Also, people take different amounts of time with it, because of a variety of factors. I got jealous of people who took less time than I did, then tied up in knots trying to figure out what was wrong with me. All the usual stuff.”

Also, some other advice: Have Fun! Don’t force it. Don’t strain for it. Don’t try to get it over with. Think of it like sex: If you are too nervous, you’re going to blow it. You need to relax into it. Enjoy the process. Like sex, it shouldn’t be a race to the finish. It is about gaining insight. Developing your skills. Learning the territory. And when it is ready, stream will happen. FYI: I had my doubts about A+P stuff as well. And then, bam, on retreat, I got a healthy dose of some pretty unexpected stuff.

http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/3865611

[marc]

February 8, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Hi Alan, thanks for your reply, it’s very helpful. I’d already seen your thread over at the DhO, it’s really full of valuable tips, so thanks for posting the survey!

Since I started participating on KFD (Nov. 2011) I’ve seen several people make a lot of progress, while I couldn’t get past equanimity. It’s also got to do with personal circumstances that my progress is not that fast, but from time to time my seeming lack of progress causes some doubt and impatience. Right now I’m mostly just enjoying equanimity, and trying to put in a bit more time. The next few month I’ll probably have more time on my hands, so I can focus on this stuff more.

About my master’s degree: last year I got a master’s degree in religious studies, and now I’ve got an educational master’s degree (for teaching in secondary school). Not every school in the Netherlands offers religious education, so there aren’t a lot of vacancies. Hopefully I’ll find a job starting in September.

[marc]

February 21, 2013 at 5:20 am

Date:
02/21/2013

Length of Sit:
85 minutes

Where/Posture:
At home, burmese position

Pre-Meditative Context:
I got out of bed an hour before I sat down

Meditative Technique(s) Utilized:
Aprox. 20 minutes of shamatha, the rest of the sit noting (out loud, but the last 30 minutes silently).

What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose,
and How Were They Noted:
After 15 minutes of following my breath, there was a pleasant tingling wave going through my body. When I switched to noting, I noticed coolness, some worrying, planning thoughts. I can’t clearly remember what exactly happened after that, but there were a lot of thoughts, mainly about the future, and pressure/tension in my body. Eventually the thinking kind of settled, and there was more calm and acceptance. Every now an then a thought about my practice would pop up, but it was easy to just note it without getting caught up in the thought. A few times I became aware of my perspective: it felt like ‘I’ was located between my eyebrows. At a certain point many senstions felt subtly vibratory, like the touch of my hands, tension in my stomach and the sound of the room (buzzing/very fine and soft ‘white noise’). After an hour the timer went off, but I didn’t end the sit. The meditation was quite uneventful, bu it just felt okay to keep sitting.
Goal(s) for Next Session:
Stay on the cushion after the timer goes off.

[marc]

Phew, that's it. Took a bit longer than I expected, but I'm glad it's all here now!

[Russell]

Good work! WOW.

[marc]

Date:
03-15-2013

Length of Sit:
60 minutes

Where/posture:
Birmese posture
Pre-Meditative Context:
This morning I already meditated for an hour, then I had breakfast and read the newspaper, and then I hit the cushion again.

Meditative Technique(s) Utilized:
About 20 minutes shamatha, rest of the sit noting (mostly aloud)

What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose,
and How Were They Noted:
When I started noting, there was some tingling in my upperbody and I saw moving light. Then there was quite a bit of confusion and mapping thoughts, annoyance, thinking about what I should do to progress, trying to manipulate my experience. Also tension and pain in my back, as well as aversion to the pain and hoping it would go away. Then I noticed that the aversion had dropped away, and my field of attention gradually felt more spacious. I could note mind states and feelings more easily. Now and then I noticed mapping thoughts and evaluation thoughts. There was a very subtle and faint vibration in my body. Towards the end I noticed more impatience.

Goal(s) for Next Session:
Keep disembedding from aversion and impatience.

[Russell]

Hey Marc, how did Nadav's tips help in your next sit?