Marc's practice notes

[marc]

I only had 45 minutes for that sit, so I didn't very far. This morning I sat for 70 minutes, and I felt much more playful and curious, thanks to those tips. The meditation routine had gotten a bit stale and formal, so Nadav's tips (and yours) helped me to spicen it up a bit. At a certain point I stopped noting, and when I noticed my attention drifting off, I just noted this, and I asked myself regularly 'I wonder what my next thought will be' and 'what am I missing?'. It all seemed much more interesting than usual. I guess I got to lower equanimity, but I didn't feel as stuck as usual.

[kennethfolk]

This is great, Marc. Amazing that you cut and pasted all those journal entries. Looking forward to seeing the ongoing updates. Cool that today's practice was a little juicier following Nadav and Russell's tips. Keep on keepin' on!

[marc]

Thank you for the encouragement, Kenneth!
The last few days I've been meditating for 1 hour (yesterday 55 and 45 minutes), so my practice is pretty consistent, but it needs more momentum. My goal now is to sit at least 1.5 hour per day, and regularly meditate for more than an hour.

[marc]

I don't have much to report, but I'll make an update anyway. Lately I have one or two sits a day, and I've noticed that I seem to get deeper into equanimity when I have a second meditation (in the afternoon). Most days I have a lot of excuses not to have a second meditation in the afternoon; I have to make it routine again.

This morning I sat for an hour; 20 minutes shamatha, 40 minutes noting (mostly aloud). The last 20 minutes everything was okay, I noted calm and acceptance, and lots of vibrations and humming.

[marc]

Today I had two sits: this morning I sat for an hour and this afternoon I sat for 90 minutes.
In my afternoon/evening sits, I mostly end up in a very spacious, calm and present state. There are still quite a lot of expectations about what will/should happen, and it's pretty tricky not to stuck in evaluation thoughts. The trick seems to be to just note everything (which is not as easy as it sounds).

Thursday I'll have a talk with Ron (first time in two months...)

[marc]

I'm sitting once or twice every day these days. I generally end up in a relaxed and equanimous state (probably low equanimity), and then I try to focus on the vibrations at my third eye. In our last two sessions, Ron guided me to equanimity: it's really amazing how clear and fast it goes when he talks me through. He advised me to gently keep my attention on the vibrating third eye area when I'm in equanimity, so that's what I'm doing. Still zoning out a lot though; maybe I should keep my attention wider first, until equanimity deepens?

[Russell]

Marc, it's a gentle balance. I remember that feeling a lot during EQ too. I used the same technique at the time as well. What I found useful is to really be gentle with the attention there like Ron says. If you put too much effort into your focus on that vibrating 3rd eye, you will shift back down to Low EQ and get spacey. However, if you keep a nice, light grasp on that 'object' and also be inclusive of other sensations, the vibrations increase and you remain in Higher EQ.

I think you are just getting to High EQ and focusing your attention a bit too tightly and shifting back down to Low EQ. Make sense?

[Dan G]

Hey Marc, Thanks for reporting. I just talked to Ron last night about this phenomena and how to approach it. I have been playing with it for a couple months and find this to be very tricky. Looking forward to hearing about your progress. Russell, I find your suggestions helpful as well. I am just starting to understand how I move up and down and can now identify the territory a little more.Thank you

[marc]

Thanks for your advice, Russell. That definitely makes sense, although it doesn't feel like I'm reaching high equanimity again. It's a pretty tricky balance, sometimes it feels like I'm really riding a wave, and other times it feels like I go from too tight to too wide.

[marc]

Since my last post I've been keeping on meditating daily, one or two sits a day. Now more 1.5 hour sits. In each sit I start with counting the breath, and then I start noting.
This morning I meditated for 2 hours. After counting my breath (not very concentrated) I switched to noting. The next 50 minutes or so there were a lot of discursive thoughts, confusion, irritation, restlessness, etc. Then I noticed more calmness and space, and after a little while there was a little bit of pressure at my third eye, which felt subtly vibratory. I kept my attention on this, as I kept noting silently, mostly mind states, such as investigation, anticipation, doubt, questioning, peace, joy, wondering, surrender, waiting.