Opera's prelude

[Opera]

Hi all,

I've been lurking on KFD & DhO on and off for years. Very inspiring.

I've never succeeded in establishing a daily practice, though, and that'll be the first goal of this journal: establish a daily practice; emphasis on 'daily', as sits might get as short as 10mn long, we'll see. I'll be noting, with few labels.

I'll give more background info later on.
Cheers,
Opera

[Opera]

This afternoon: 10mn

Mainly visual events from the eyelids. In the belly, tension of the diaphragm (?) expanding when breathing in, then its collpase; sounds from a bird singing outside; and thoughts, of course, quite a few of them, about the labels and the practice, but not only; got 'lost in thought' twice but not for too long. Mostly eyelid visuals really.

Question: what to do (other than note it) when the thought occurs again and again and again that there are way too many things going on at the same time to note them all? Picking one of them up for noting becomes an action in itself, it is not noting anymore...And not choosing anything ('choiceless awareness') does not get me far because of my poor concentration skill.

[Opera]

This evening: 10mn

First, lasting unpleasantness in the heart/chest area. Harder to maintain attention than this afternoon: further away from physical events, and thoughts taking power.
When the body finally settled down a bit, the heart pounding became prominent; unpleasant. Small tensions all over the face, body etc. External stimuli in the background (at best).

Comments: in retrospect, I see that pleasant/unpleasant/neutral was not on the chart this afternoon.
It was the first time I categorized 'contacts' at the frontier between the body and the rest of the world (such as: eyelid movements, breath within the mouse) in the same bag as contact with external objects (clothes, air etc.).

On the other hand, this evening, most stimuli were internal. Diffuse discomfort over a whole area within the body, for instance.

[NickP]

Welcome!

[Opera]

Thank you, Nick

I hope I'll be able to display some of your perseverance, and that your own road still has many fruits to bear!

[Opera]

Yesterday morning : 10mn

Quite the same sensations as the preceding evening, but weaker concentration. The discomfort zone was also bit lower, down towards the belly.

[Opera]

Yesterday evening : 20mn

First half of the sit: this time the rythm of the breathing was steady, and stayed present in the background while the noting was doing its thing elsewhere.

Second half : lost the breath « anchor » ; monkey mind went stronger than the day before. Velleity to « kill » thoughts rather than just note them. The content of many thoughts was about the practice itself. Samples : "instead of studying the discomfort zone in the chest in order, in the end, to make it comfortable, try instead to just note it and forget about avoiding dukkha" "what will my proactice notes be ?" "i had forgotten that sitting on a cushion is easier than sitting on a chair" "10 (or 20) mn is ridicoulsly short" "I can get impermanence, but not emptiness not not self" etc.
Chillness, air, sounds; all external. The "discomfort zone" felt too solid and fuzzy to explore (as usual).

[Opera]

Today at lunch : 10mn

I either noted external phenomena (not surprising as I was in a busy & windy business district, so they were many), or I was lost in "thought trains". Very few internal phenomena. Most thoughts were practice related, which again elicited irritation.

[Jack H]

This afternoon: 10mn


Question: what to do (other than note it) when the thought occurs again and again and again that there are way too many things going on at the same time to note them all? Picking one of them up for noting becomes an action in itself, it is not noting anymore...And not choosing anything ('choiceless awareness') does not get me far because of my poor concentration skill.

I found that after some practice picking what to note became automatic. After developing a rhythm of noting, whatever comes up when it is time to note becomes the note. The key is keeping at it.

When a thought keeps coming up, I note "attached" which seems to break the lock it has on me.

Good luck with your practice

[PabloP]

This afternoon: 10mn

Question: what to do (other than note it) when the thought occurs again and again and again that there are way too many things going on at the same time to note them all? Picking one of them up for noting becomes an action in itself, it is not noting anymore...And not choosing anything ('choiceless awareness') does not get me far because of my poor concentration skill.

There are plenty of things to do. Try to notice what happens before and after the thought, that widens the scope of your attention. See what parts of the thought is particularly felt unpleasant, neutral or pleasant. Notice if the thought is visual, auditory or physical, and do a binary note thought-image, thought-sound, etc. You can also focus on the characteristics of that compound note: eg. the tension in the body associated with the thought, the warmth/coolness, vibrations, stings, etc.

You can also try Jack Kornfield's "Top Ten Tunes" (A Path with a Heart, pages 105-106). Identify the recurring thoughts and give them funny names, so you can have a laugh when they arise. JK's examples: Mr Achiever, Attila the Hun, The Impatient Lover, Baby Jacky, Fear of the Dark, The Hungry Survivor.

Welcome by the way!