Pablo P. Practice Journal

[PabloP]

Date: 04/18/13 and 04/19/13
Pre-Meditative Context: Yesterday, waking up from an unknown event and witnessing some kind of 3rd Jhana visual stuff. Today, waking up with aversion to energetic phenomena, which was colliding some protecting bubble at my side. Before the session, 10' ReWire concentration app plus 5' stretching and Qigong.
Length of Sits: 45'
Posture: half-lotus
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: DÑ
Meditative Techniques Utilized: out-loud and silent noting. At the end of the session silent noting feeling-tones and APE.
General Thoughts:
* The concentration practice gives a difference in meditation
* I'm noting not-self thoughts more frequently off-cushion
* Aversion to street noise went down significantly, almost at ease with it
* Today it was a long walk to cross the DÑ, which I hadn't crossed completely, but felt that the symptoms were mild and easy to cope with.
Aversion baseline: 2
Noting Dynamics: Started with calmness and spaciousness, which I usually note by the end of sessions. Soon noted outside noise, tightness, postural discomfort, tension in many places, fine vibrations in the shoulders, thoughts, heat. Sweet taste didn't show up today. The Brow Chakra woke up, with bubbling sensations and some cool/warmth mix. Later, inner noise (for the first time in a week), fine vibrations in the whole torso and arms. Soon after, mild discomfort in the chest, with heavier vibrations. Then, some tightness and vibrations in the throat, which then transformed in a wider heat strip at my right side connecting the upper chest to the throat. Stayed present for a long time. Spaced out several times, perhaps for a minute or more. In the mix, coolness appeared in the lower back, and then spread through the inner thighs, oddly bypassing the dantien. Then the coolness went up through the back, and at chest level there was an odd spot where coolness started to spin for some minutes. There were times in the second half of the session when I noted coolness in the lower torso and heat in the upper torso and head. Unfortunately I had to stop the session as I was late for my Taichi class.
Goal for Next Session: Keep doing out-loud noting to get back on track and the concentration practice.

[PabloP]

The Word it Out version of the session:

[NickP]

What is a not-self thought? Is it just a conceptual thought about the not-self characteristic?

From your note cloud, I'm seeing you're noting a lot more body sensations than the other three foundations of mindfulness. See if you can blend the other three foundations into the noting.
I had the same predilection for body sensations in my noting, and still do. To soften it up, one thing I've found useful is noting each of the four foundations separately in blocks of X (for me, 3) minutes (as done here http://www.buddhistgeeks.com/2010/03/the-yogi-toolbox-power-tools-for-investigating-reality/), before trying all of them together. One thing you can also experiment with is some noting periods where you choose not to note the foundation that comes easiest to you.

Are thoughts noted with just the word "thoughts"? See if you can try to go into some more detail when noting them.

[PabloP]

Hey, thanks for posting. This last three weeks I slid down big time as I started a new job (non-stop 10 hours long with 7 dead-lines in 3 hours!) and moved into a new flat. Before, in March, I was doing the Four Foundation Noting, 5-10 minutes each out-loud and then some full noting in silence. Then, I cut the practice to physical and feeling-tones and added the Aversion Parameter Evaluation suggested by Kenneth. Nowadays, I'm trying for a few days to climb the way up with the objects I note best, physical ones and feeling-tones. So thoughts are not noted directly but indirectly, as much of them come attached to those two types of sensations.

Frequently, thoughts arise at the very beginning of the in-breath. Mostly, thoughts arise as kind of ill-formed words or phrases, that is auditory sense, not visual or proprioceptive senses. They don't come from volition, thought-looping or echoing previous thoughts. They are just random, though a few times there were wisdom in them. Also, in a sense, they are different from my music composing experience. When I'm composing, I'm sort of appealing to an emotional state, to trigger sounds or syllables or words. In the case of meditation or off-cushion, the not-self thoughts don't have an emotion attached. It's like hearing parts of a conversation or radio in other room. But the funny thing is that physically, they are located in my head or nearby. Last week, I had a not-self thought which was coming from a distant place, which startled me. I open a thread about it in DhO.

It's true I'm using no detailed vocabulary for thoughts. Re-reading some posts of mine of February, I used this ones: remembering, analyzing, reporting, mapping, reporting, speculating, rehearsing, planning. I'll re-introduce them to my practice. Thanks again!

[PabloP]

In yesterday's session, I did a detailed noting of thoughts. Only 30-40% of them were noted, mostly remembering, analyzing and reporting. So, I was a little carried away with letting that physical sensations and feel-tones trigger thoughts. Back to work!

[PabloP]

Date: 04/20/13 and 04/21/13
Pre-Meditative Context: 15' ReWire concentration app plus 15' stretching and Qigong.
Length of Sits: 20' on Saturday and 60' on Sunday
Posture: half-lotus
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: ???
Meditative Techniques Utilized: out-loud and silent 4FN. At the end of the session APE.
General Thoughts:
* After some post exchanges with a fellow practitioner, I return to detailed noting of thoughts
* By noting thoughts, spacing out was shortened a lot
* Much of the not-self thoughts are related to mind-states
Aversion baseline: ~2
Noting Dynamics: Started with tightness, twitches, stings, outer & inner noise, fine vibrations in the shoulders, thoughts. No heat, sweet taste or discomfort. Some bubbling sensations between the Crown and Brow Chakra, with a cool/warmth mix. This time there were no tightness nor discomfort in the chest and throat area. Instead, as I noted thoughts in detail, there was an ever present tension in the skull, temples and cheeks. Aversion 2 to those tensions, with little reduction when focusing on a spot. Little spacing out. Coolness in the lower back, which spread to the front and inner thighs, but didn't went up to the neck.

When noting thoughts, at first noted remembering, fantasy, analyzing. Then, analyzing and (a lot of) rehearsing. Some images-thoughts showed up. At the end, planning, analyzing and rehearsing. The not-self thoughts that weren't ill-formed words or phrases, were related to mental-states, like surprise, worry, relief/understanding, upset.
Goal for Next Session: Keep doing the 4FN & the concentration practice.

[PabloP]

Wording it out:

[PabloP]

Yesterday's report.

[PabloP]

Date: 04/22/13 and 04/23/13
Pre-Meditative Context: 10' ReWire concentration app, 10' stretching and Qigong.
Length of Sits: 60' on Monday and 60' on Tuesday
Posture: half-lotus
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: DÑ
Meditative Techniques Utilized: out-loud and silent 4FN. At the end of the session APE.
General Thoughts:
* Much of the not-self thoughts are related to mind-states such as amaze, upset, condemn, fear and specially judgmental
* Played with questioning (why?) when those mental states showed up, and in many cases it triggered the stilling of the mind. Later, EIS explained that that wasn't the actual practice he was suggesting, but nevertheless I found it interesting.
Aversion baseline: I now understand that aversion should be evaluated not only on its physical response but also mental side.
Noting Dynamics: Heat, tightness, twitches, stings, outer & inner noise, fine vibrations in the shoulders and the head, remembering, fantasy, analyzing, rehearsing, discomfort, spacing-out, bubbling sensations in the skull, later coolness in the Brow Chakra and lower back. Next, cooling sensation running up through the back to chest level, and then by sections the neck up to the Crown and down to the Brow Chakra. Yet, no calmness, throat tightness never passed away. Oddly, tension in the head didn't appear until late in the session.
Goal for Next Session: Keep doing the 4FN & the concentration practice.

[NickP]

Would you mind logging about one of the next sits including the chronology of phenomena?