Eric III

[Nadav]

It could've just been the completion of an insight cycle and subsequent review (without path). That's going to happen. Not saying that's what it was, but it's a possibility.

[Eric_G]

Yeah. Just documenting/guessing from my POV. Lot's of little shifts over the past few months. A few moments where "I" was "turned inside out", kind of a foreground-background switch. There were a few cessations, and continue to be, had a bunch yesterday, although they seemed mild. Any cyclic stuff also seems really mild, barely noticeable. A couple of days ago listened to the pureland part of Kenneth and Nick's jhana walkthru, it made slightly more sense, mainly for the first two, got lost on the coming back down part. Also re-listening to the Hurricane Ranch, that indeed has some good stuff. Mainly following my instinct of letting go of everything possible and bringing that into more moments off the cushion.

[Eric_G]

More A&P flashy light stuff at bedtime again, similar to 2 weeks ago. Kind of grokked the unreality of time the other day, thinking of myself a number of years ago seemed so unreal, just a memory. That was a new one.

[Eric_G]

Did a word it out thing today towards the end of my sit. Tension is from the brow.

worditout.PNG (54.04 KiB) Viewed 6350 times

[Eric_G]

I was thinking about a description I mentioned the other day, "grainy luminosity". As I investigate the visual field, it just isn't as smooth or well behaved as I used to imagine, or more properly, believe. Even in broad daylight there is a very fine micro pixellation, and indoors or in medium light situations, forget about it - there is random noise all over the place. Maybe I just need to clean my glasses. Maybe it's middle age.

Sits continue to be very peaceful. I seem to go in and out of stable areas of consciousness, jhanas, sometimes I notice which one . One today felt like it was behind the eyes, in the center of the head, as opposed to out front, or all around, or at the brow or forehead. First jhana comes up all the time now, just a little bit of extra attention to a tv program, say, and I've got myself a "brow-on". 1J is so tense in a way, and yet there is a pleasure to it, sometimes surprisingly so.

Day to day, relaxed, often a sense of detachment lately, as if life is but a dream, just kind of floating along. Not to say I don't have difficulties, but for the moment, somewhat less. Seems substantially different from say, six months ago. I notice that when I am going to sleep it is often relatively bright with my eyes closed.

[Eric_G]

2 lucid dreams last night. The second one, as I became aware I began to meditate within it, everything was seen thru, all was one. Seemed pretty significant at the time, I could see how this could be a powerful practice.