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Antero's practice journal 6

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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Antero » Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:23 am

Mistake #5

I had developed ability to investigate the very subtle fluctuations of the mind in stillness, but was unable to see a huge thought that was actually blocking all the other thoughts. I had become very adept at seeing even the smallest little fluctuation of the conceptual mind, but failed to see this category of thought before, because it is not as clear like some narrative storylines or mental images that light up in the mind. It is more like an intention that is shaping other mental activities or a subtle attitude toward another person. 

When sitting on the cushion it can be an unseen mental attitude lurking below the radar of consciousness "I am meditating" that directs the mind but blocks complete surrender. Off the cushion it can be any kind of expectation or intention that keeps the us from experiencing this moment with complete openness and freshness. For example it can be a certain attitude toward another person that prevents us from meeting him/her openly and without prejudice. This prejudice may not even show up as actual thoughts, but will nevertheless affect our reactions in a negative way when we are dealing with that person.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Russell » Thu Jul 11, 2013 5:52 am

This is all pure gold Antero. Thank you for sharing. Keep going!! I am finding many traps where the ego sneaks back in an it takes a while to realize what is really happening. There is also that tendency to get very, very 'neutral' and kind of float away if you really wanted to. There can be too much detachment in a way as well, and that is not what awakening is about.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Antero » Fri Jul 12, 2013 2:24 am

Russell wrote:There is also that tendency to get very, very 'neutral' and kind of float away if you really wanted to. There can be too much detachment in a way as well, and that is not what awakening is about.


Thanks Russel! If not addressed this neutrality can go further and lead to a state of disconnection. In my own experience this is a result of practices that do not fully incorporate the body, including pure vipassana noting and various samatha practices. Although at the first the experiences of the stages of insight that arise through noting are very bodily, as one progresses throught the paths, the meditation can become ungrounded and floaty, especially with the unfolding of the formless jhanas. However IMO this can easily be balanced with the body based meditations and other practices.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Antero » Fri Jul 12, 2013 2:25 am

Mistake #6

While working on 7th and 8th Stages of awakening, I started to lose the connection with my body. The unbalanced emphasis on no-self and no-thought led me into a disembodied state where the subtleties of my own body and it's relationship to the universe in general and to the other people in particular was no longer felt fully. Phenomenlogically this was manifested in the absence of subtle sensations deep within the body, 'the energy body' if you want to use such an inaccurate term. At times I could not recognize my body as something that belongs to me and in one instance of disorientation I could not even access my own memories which left me feeling totally disconnected from my own beingness.

I do not know if this period of dissociation is some inevitable phase one must go through and then come back to the full spectrum of everyday experience totally transformed, however I do know now that it is a restricted and narrow way and not to be sought after. The more grounded and fully embodied way of being that is currently unfolding for me is much more energising, exhilarating and inspiring and leads to fuller participation and commitment with life.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Nicobobo » Fri Jul 12, 2013 5:31 am

Hello Antero,

I guess you keep practising Ashtanga yoga and i have a question about it. I currently practise the first and second series in a very old fashioned way (10 seconds inhalation- 10 seconds exhalation). I remember that you had a pretty intense and focused ashtanga practice and that you could enter lite jhanas states during your practice. I just wanted to know on what aspect of the practice do you focus ? Moolha bandha, Uddiyana Bandha, the Ujjayi sound, the thoracic movement on the inhale and exhale ...? Because i have this very slow breathing i can notice easily when my mind is wandering but i can't choose where to rest it...

As always thank you for your inspiring practice ! Keep up the good work !

Nicolas

Ps: with the changing of forums i lost your previous answers which were related to the same subject. Sorry if you feel you are repeating yourself.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Antero » Fri Jul 12, 2013 6:01 am

Nicobobo wrote:Hello Antero,
I just wanted to know on what aspect of the practice do you focus ? Moolha bandha, Uddiyana Bandha, the Ujjayi sound, the thoracic movement on the inhale and exhale ...? Because i have this very slow breathing i can notice easily when my mind is wandering but i can't choose where to rest it...

As always thank you for your inspiring practice ! Keep up the good work !


Thank you, Nicola,

The choice of focus depends on the width of the attention at any given time. When the attention is narrow, it is good to focus for example on moola bandha or drsti. I would advice against forcefully manipulating the natural scope of the attention. Often it tends to widen during the practice and then it is feels good to use as a focus all the subtle and gross sensations that make up an asana.

I have moved all my old journals to a blog and tagged them, so you will find the posts and discussion on the subject under a Tag "Ashtanga yoga"

http://apracticejournal.wordpress.com/t ... anga-yoga/

I have have written something on the similarities of meditation and ashtanga yoga, but it did not show up on my blog. I'll see if I can find it.

Antero
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Antero » Sat Jul 27, 2013 9:35 am

Somatic Practices

In my current experience thoughts and other processes of the mind are most of the time seen to be emptiness and movement with no real substance and therefore are not causing much graping. It is often the body and sense perceptions that feel deceptively real and solid and doing bodywork feels exactly the right thing to do for me at the moment.

I have done rigorous pranayama practice in the past, but Reggie Ray’s gentle and very thorough approach feels much more effective. The practice is done lying down or sitting up and it involves very deep inbreaths using the full capacity of the lungs, often doing multiple inbreaths with no outbreath in between. The breath is used together with some simple visualizations that helps to unfold the process of disintegration and ends up in the vastness of the space of awareness.

The somatic experience of breath entering the body tunes the mind gradually to the level of increased openness and boundlessness. In the beginning the body feels heavy, self-evident, and ordinary. With the opening up, the sensations merge into a unified field of perception where no single sensation stands out. The bodily experience loses it’s solidity and becomes vibratory and flowing, consisting of a huge number of very subtle transient sensations. This flow of energy and fluctuation underlies the brick wall of every physical experience.

Going beyond the mosaic of fast vibrations, one finds underneath the body of one huge space, open and flowing to all directions with no limits or boundaries. Body, movement and breath are all merged into a unified ocean of experience where single components or qualities can be no longer be determined. If one is doing ashtanga yoga practice, the breath seems to move the whole body directed by no-one, without any conscious thoughts and despite all the movement and flow, nothing seems to be moving.

The experience is a lot more physical, concrete and dynamic than my previous sitting practices that have been mostly of mental nature. The unraveling of the psycho-physical structures of my own body has been most educational and balancing.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Russell » Sat Jul 27, 2013 3:54 pm

I have been doing a lot of this work with Abre lately. Tuning into that spaciousness using the breath at first until the body just dissolves into it. I look forward to hearing more.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Bill29ish » Tue Aug 06, 2013 8:02 pm

Antero: My turn. What is the last practice you are talking about, with the multiple in-breaths? It sounds unfamiliar to me.
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Re: Antero's practice journal 6

Postby Antero » Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:08 am

Bill29ish wrote:Antero: My turn. What is the last practice you are talking about, with the multiple in-breaths? It sounds unfamiliar to me.


Sorry for the delay.

In this practice the lungs are filled completely in three successive phases: first the lower belly, pause, then the mid chest, pause, and finally the the upper chest and pause before exhaling. With this practice one learns step by step how to let the air fill the lugns fully and to use the breath to connect to the direct experience of emptiness inside one’s body.

These three phases are first learned separately to loosen up the tension and to connect with space in lower belly, mid chest and upper chest. Then with the long three-fold inbreath these separate spaces merge into a feeling of vastness and openness that fills the entire body from within. The solidity of the body dissolves into a volume of empty space and moving air.
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