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Pablo P. Practice Journal

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Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:21 am

Abridged practice history:

* +10 years of Tai Chi practice
* +6 years of soft Qi Gong practice (Feng Zhi Qiang), nowadays shorten to only a 15 minutes warmup before meditation
* 2 years of Samatha starting in 2010. Tried with breath, kasinas and counting with little results.
* 1 year of Bhante Vimalaramsi Metta and 6Rs method during 2012 with interesting results.
* Also have tried Taoist Dissolving methods (Vipassana-like but including visualization to decompose blockages) , and recently briefly tried Daniel Ingram’s fast noting and Shinzen Young’s “the power of gone”.
* Six years ago, after a mix of long standing postures and qi gong practice coupled with little sleep due to night shifts, I had nasty recurrent dream paralysis experiences, which months later I could end when I understood that the psychological stuff was triggered by my fear to (then undetected) energy awakening. Finally I surrender to the energy, went up through the back and down to the chest where it spread, and a second later the legs ejected energy like missile rockets for a minute. These happened again the next day at a much lesser degree, and dream paralysis never showed up again since. Every now and then I have short OBEs, lucid dreaming and jhanas stuff.
* Five weeks ago I started Kenneth Folk’s First Gear instructions, noting out-loud.

Practice goal: stream-entry
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
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Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:52 pm

Date: 01/25/13
Length of Sit: two sits for around 45-60 minutes each, first one at morning after the night shift, the second at the evening
Posture: half-lotus
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: n/a
Meditative Techniques Utilized: KF’s noting out-loud, singles, pairs and triplets
General Thoughts/Reflections: I noticed that the first part of the sits had more of a “release” tone, and the second part a “spam” tone. That is, releases happened after tension/tightness was spotted, but spasms/bursts happened on their own. When spotting and releasing tension at joints, warmth and pleasant sensations arise, even if there’s some tension left. When releases happen elsewhere, the sensation is more neutral. Another interesting thing is that I noticed a lot of tension that I held at fingers. I can actively relax them, but the funny thing is saw today is that when there’s a gap of time with no sensations arising, even in a calm mode, tension builds up in the fingers. Like I’m trying to literally grab sensations! Also, images and colors arise mostly in my morning sit, when I’m more tired (due to my night shifts).
What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose, and How Were They Noted: warmth at the front of the torso and inside of arms, coolness at the back and outside of arms and legs, generally labeled as “warmth/pleasant”, “cool/neutral” or “cool/unpleasant”. “Tightness/unpleasant”, “Burn/neutral” or “burn/curious” in the crossed leg, the other leg gets “warm/pleasure” or “hot/anticipating” if I focus the attention there. Same thing happens with the column, where also “bubbling/cool/anticipating” was labeled. “Vibration/neutral” as a general pattern in arms and back. A second layer of “itches” and “needles/burn” and “wavy tightness” is noted above vibrations at the arms. “Tightness & release” and “tension & release” noted everywhere, mostly fingers, chest, throat and face. Generally noted as “tightness/release/pleasure”. Can’t remember well today, but usually I space out several times during the sits, labeled as “distraction”. A few times noted “Images” and “colors” for a split second. “Calm” arises a few times too, and stays much longer than other sensations.
What Worked? What Didn’t?: In general, most of the sessions, say 80%, is about spotting tensions and releases. Other 15% about satisfaction / dissatisfaction of sensations. The remaining 5% is about thoughts. Regarding timing, I can note out-loud physical sensations within the second of arising, and degree of pleasantness more or less the same. Instead, thoughts may take 3 to 5 seconds, if I notice them at all, which is rather annoying. Also, when “calm” is noted, the mind clings to it so there are some long seconds before other sensations arise. In fact, I have to actively do a body scan to detect a physical sensation.
Goals for Next Session: increase labeling of thoughts and mental states.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:53 pm

Date: 01/26/13
Length of Sit: +30 minutes twice at the afternoon and evening
Posture: reclined in bed
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: n/a
Meditative Techniques Utilized: Samatha, noticing warmth arise and actively spread to feet and hands
General Thoughts/Reflections: n/a
What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose, and How Were They Noted: After the warmth settled, thoughts stopped abruptly many times, for a short period of time. Though that’s rather annoying, it paid dividends too: I noticed that thoughts stopped whenever I noticed that those thoughts/phrases emerged by themselves, on their own. This “no-self” noticing happened clearly some times, and inferred in the others (the faster ones). It felt like “startled” by noticing these thoughts/phrases, and or like a “pull”. Then “calmness”, “silence” a no physical sensations were noticed, but outside noise and time passing was noticed. At the end of the session, I switch the practice to spotting no-self thoughts.
What Worked? What Didn’t?: It worked spreading the warmth to ankles and feet, where I have bad blood circulation. Couldn’t stay long every time the silence happened, probably by a combination of anticipation and been tired.
Goals for Next Session: Seize the opportunity to notice “no-self” thoughts, and see if that triggers silence.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:55 pm

Date: 01/28/13
Length of Sit: 20 minutes at the morning / +1 hour at the evening
Posture: reclined in bed / half-lotus
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: n/a
Meditative Techniques Utilized: Samatha / noting out-loud single, pairs and triplets
General Thoughts/Reflections: n/a
What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose, and How Were They Noted: More data shows that entering access concentration / early 1st jhana involves recognizing “no-self” in thoughts. Also, there were times when instead a block of pixels (like Moire’s patterns) showed up up and to the left of the visual field, before entering. Finally, entering happened when “surrendering” (which is not a conscious decision to release a tension).
Regarding noting, the first part was much like the last report. What was different though, is that I could stay longer at the pain/ache/discomfort at the throat, where I noted that it’s not solid but “fluctuating” and “compressed/expanded”. For fun, I stopped noting out-loud, concentrate on the throat and tried to note only thoughts that appeared. Much “wanted this to end” and “curious”, but also “blue color” showed up, which happen to be the throat chakra color. Though the awareness of body sensations decreased, I felt tightness at the cheek-bones and the column.
What Worked? What Didn’t?: Couldn’t stay longer in access concentration / 1st jhana but I could easily get back once and again. In vipassana, I could stay longer with a burning leg, but it didn’t decompose into tinnier sensations.
Goals for Next Session: Check if before “surrendering”, any kind of aversion triggers it.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:56 pm

Date: 01/29/13
Length of Sit: +30 minutes at the evening
Posture: reclined in bed
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: n/a
Meditative Techniques Utilized: silent noting at a painful spot
General Thoughts/Reflections: n/a
What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose, and How Were They Noted: This time I quickly start as a standard noting, until the usual pain/discomfort raised (throat and chest). I dropped the out-loud labeling and just kept noticing sensations and thoughts that showed up at the throat. There was much more “efervescence” and “wavy-contractions” happening than yesterday, and less pain. And when I focused into the temperature of the spot, warmth arisen, and the pain went to the background, as if I were applying Metta.
What Worked? What Didn’t?: Decomposition of the spot did work, not to full extent.
Goals for Next Session: Repeat the practice, until I cross A&P.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:59 pm

Date: 01/30/13
Length of Sit: 90 minutes at the afternoon
Posture: half-lotus 60 minutes, reclined 30 minutes
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: n/a
Meditative Techniques Utilized: Noting out-loud single, pairs and triplets; switch to silent noting at a painful spot
General Thoughts/Reflections: a significant change of phenomena, lots of images and discomfort. Prior to sit, in daily activities I focused the attention to the discomfort on the throat
What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose, and How Were They Noted: the usual “warmth/cool” sensations appear first, a general “vibration” on large patches of the body and “tightness” at cheeks, throat, fingers and the crossed leg. Unlike past sessions, vibrations didn’t decompose into tinier “itches/stings” or “wavy contractions/expansions”. Instead, there was more like a “mess” of sensations, many things happening that were unclear, like “scrambled” physical sensations [ should start to use that label ]. Also, labeled many times “discomfort”. There were much less “warmth” and “calmness” interspacing physical sensations. But the most significant labeling were thoughts, which many times showed up as written words & phrases. Labeled as “image-words” [ should start to note "written" instead ].
What worked? What didn’t?: Decomposition of the throat spot showed much more activity, albeit unclear/messy/scrambled.
Goal for Next Session: Repeat the practice until I cross A&P.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
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Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:00 pm

Kenneth Folk: Great reports, Pablo. Especially the latest one. Love the format, with subtitles, “what worked” section, and goals. Maybe we should post a template for others to use in their reports.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
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Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:01 pm

Thanks Kenneth! The commitment to write down the sessions is a powerful driver to be mindful about the practice, be honest to oneself and others, and challenge to face up with whatever appears. This template I’m using was developed by Alan Smithee. Perhaps, it would be of great help a standardized account of the practices, as there’s much to learn reading how did others’ practice evolved.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:04 pm

Date: 01/31/13
Length of Sit: 100 minutes at the morning
Posture: half-lotus
Cutting Edge Insight Stage of the Session: n/a
Meditative Techniques Utilized: Noting out-loud single, pairs and triplets; switch to silent noting at a painful spot
General Thoughts/Reflections: discomfort at the throat was there but never built up, instead a wider tightness grew at the head and hands.
What Sensations/Phenomenon Arose, and How Were They Noted: much more “warmth” than “cool” sensations. Same like yesterday, “Vibrations” didn’t decompose into tinier “itches/stings” or “wavy contractions/expansions”. There weren’t either “scrambled” physical sensations, but clear tightness at the head, hands and to a lesser degree, throat. The “burn” at the legs build up over the session and subside, half way. But there were no pain, or tough itches after the session. Also, there were many times were a general nice “calm” mind state. Near the end of the session, “boredom” showed up several times. I watch that I was noting perhaps with a 3 to 5 seconds gap. So I decided to switch to a fast out-loud noting, labeling every tiny sensation (physical only) in order note at 1 per second. Did that for 10 minutes, but in-between when there was more of a subtle sensation, I got stack and couldn’t re-start.
What worked? What didn’t?: Most labels were single, just a few pairs, no triplets. Many times got stack for 10 or more seconds incapable of labeling a sensation.
Goal for Next Session: Repeat the practice until I cross A&P. Be mindful about tightness in daily activities.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

Re: Pablo P. Practice Journal

Postby PabloP » Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:06 pm

Kenneth Folk: OK, thanks for telling me that, Pablo. I’ll ask Alan if I can post the template for everyone to use.
PabloP
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:23 am

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